Things to Remember Before Hooking Up With Someone
Hooking Up Etiquette
Hooking-up has become the norm for many men and women of all sexual orientations. With many dating apps like tinder and several dating sites, you can find your next hook-up at a drop of a message. Online dating has made meeting people with the same intentions and interests a lot easier than ever before.
But what should be the etiquette in today’s hook-up culture? What are the rules of casual sex? Well, let’s get into it. (Know the 3 kinds of casual sex here)
Be Clear About Your Intentions
The best hooking apps let you say what your intentions are from the get-go. If you are looking for a relationship, let it be known. If you are just looking for a casual fun time, maybe even a one-off, let the people know.
That is how people know what you want, and they can see if they want the same. Hooking up does not need to lead to sex — it can be anything. But you have to make your intentions clear from the start. If you chat or meet up with the person, let them know what you want since a lot of people in the user base do not read the bios of the profiles they match with.
If You Catch Feelings, Talk About It
So you have gone through the hassles of the app store, tried a couple of hook-up platforms, and have finally found someone you would like to meet — more than once. In other words, you caught feelings.
A hook-up is a physical and casual relationship. However, since you two have been spending a lot of time together, maybe exploring different sex positions, there is a chance that one person has developed romantic feelings for the other. That may not be the plan, but it does happen. If you feel as if you are catching feelings for your date, you should let them know.
The sooner you talk about it, the better it will get. You can go from there and hear what they have to say. Maybe they feel the same way? Perhaps not? Do they wish to end the casual relationship? Or maybe they will give a romantic one a try? If it is a break-up, it sucks, but it happens. Keeping your feelings to yourself is not good, and it can confuse you and your date.
Do You Want It to Be a Private Relationship?
Keeping in the theme of having a hook-up partner, you two should decide if it is a private relationship or if it is okay for others to know about it. Now, we are not saying that you make a post telling your Facebook friends that you are occasionally hooking up with someone. If someone asks, you can simply answer ‘yes.’
However, this is an important conversation to have since some people are not alright with letting others know about their private sexual lives. They don’t necessarily wish to hide their partner — it is more likely that they want to avoid certain questions.
The question of whether or not you are in a relationship is a common one. Some may not be comfortable talking about it. Sometimes people just want to have fun. But keep in mind that if you are a college student or a working adult, people do like to gossip. Rumors could travel fast around your group of friends or a college campus (especially if it is a small one.)
Are You Going to Be Exclusive or Not?
Another conversation that you two should have is if you are exclusive. Or can you still look for other encounters? Not that either of you is necessary a sex addict, but some people do not mind being open while others could have a problem with it. The reasons why someone would prefer an exclusive, casual relationship could be because:
- They are less likely to worry about STDs since they are with one panther and that one is with them
- Unnecessary jealous (it could happen)
- They just do not like to share
There could be several other reasons, and that is why you need to talk about it. You two need to know what you can and cannot do. It is just being clear with the person you are sleeping or doing other things with.
Set the Rules
Many people that prefer hooking up to long-term romantic relationships could do so to explore their kinks. Maybe they are not yet ready for emotions, or they have been heartbroken badly, or they just want to or for some other reasons. But, there should be certain rules that a casual couple should make and follow. Some of these rules could be:
- What kinks would they like to explore, if any?
- How often would they meet up?
- What happens after?
- Is it just sex, or is it just making out, etc.?
- Can they see other people?
An essential aspect of these (and all other) relationships is respecting each other’s privacy. You know, like not showing up at their house at the dead of night or sharing their email addresses with friends if it is an open relationship without permission, etc.
Tell Your Partner If You Would Like to Stop
Many things do not last forever, and hooking up could be one of them. If you wish to end the relationship, then you should say so. That may be the hardest talk to have, but it is better to do it instead of just ghosting people.
Ending the relationship will get rid of emotional baggage and create a clean slate. You have been honest about your intentions, rules, two exclusive, etc. — why not be honest about this?
Hooking up can be fun, but there should be etiquette behind it. It does not have to be anything major, but letting people know about your intentions from the get-go is a good start.
Then, if you do happen to have a casual hooking up relationship, the above points mentioned should allow for smooth and fun times ahead. But always remember to stay safe both online and in the real world.