Spice Up Your Anal Play With Anal Foreplay
Anal sex is uncharted territory for most people. It’s the Brave New World, the Final Frontier, the path less traveled, and all that jazz. So it’s definitely something that we need to get familiar with slowly and carefully.
Forget everything you saw in porn or read about in erotic novels. Those show none of the prep and always display people who immediately go for hard, against-the-wall banging the moment they lay eyes on each other. Life doesn’t work like that, you know?
Before we engage in anal penetration of any kind, we need A LOT of prep. You can’t just go straight for the butt stuff, even if you have anal sex every day. What’s more, if you are — good for you — then you know this better than us, right? Butt play is an art form that includes a lot of deep breathing, anal stimulation, sex toys, sex positions, and (ultimately), anal orgasms. But you have to work your way up to them.
Without foreplay, sex is often less than satisfactory. Sure, you may come, but you might also feel as if someone wiped your butt with sandpaper.
The Importance of Anal Foreplay
Anal play isn’t something you do on a whim. You can’t just bend over and tell your partner to go to town. There’s a lot of pre-anal stuff that has to happen for this to work. We’re not talking just about anal fingering.
Remember, butts don’t self-lubricate as vaginas do. Although we wouldn’t recommend the “bending over and going at it” schtick even with vaginal sex, at least there would be some natural lubricant to ease the entire nightmare scenario and help it move along.
However, the lack of lubrication isn’t the only issue. Anal muscles are strong, and they aren’t easily pliable. They clench and resist intrusion like they are clinging for their lives!
And that’s precisely why anal foreplay is crucial for anal play. Look, no one said anal play was going to be easy. It’s definitely high-maintenance and demands a lot of time and prep. You need supplies, time, and patience to make not only anal foreplay but also the actual penetration an ultimate success. Even if you’re simply building up to penetrating yourself or your partner with a simple, small anal sex toy, you still need a lot of foreplay because butts are stubborn, alright?
So how do we go about anal foreplay properly?
Never Forget Lube
Lubrication is vital for any anal play. Even if you’re only looking to dip the tip of a finger, believe us — you need lube.
As mentioned, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate. That means that no matter how turned-on you and your partner are, it’s always going to be as dry as the desert. So help move things along with some water-based lube.
First of all, one lubed up finger that massages the general anal area will make it easier for you to relax the (probably clenched) anal muscles. Furthermore, lubed-up fingers can oh-so-easily slip right in (well, go one at a time, of course).
When there’s no lube, the skin and the sensitive lining of the anal canal remains dry, and the grinding of fingers, toys, or a dick can cause tearing. Some think that they can avoid that by going slowly, but it’s not the rapid-fire movements that will get you — it’s the friction.
Size Matters (Sometimes)
Of course, we’re talking about the size, shape, and material of sex toys. Anal foreplay usually involves at least one type of toy. What you do with it is really up to you. For example, you can use anal beads and mix them up with oral sex. Anal beads are actually the perfect toys for anal foreplay because they allow us to work our way up slowly. Feeling the simultaneous torture of the two opposite stimulations (the hard beads and the wet, soft tongue) is the ideal foreplay.
Your choice of anal sex toys and anal foreplay, in general, will depend on what you’re working toward. If you’re looking to plug yourself with a butt plug, then rimming, fingering, and teasing the overstimulated pucker will probably feel heavenly and be enough prep for that butt plug that boost your sex.
However, if you’re working your way up to anal sex or penetration with a massive toy like a dildo, you’ll probably need to introduce your butt to a few more toys (plugs, beads, bullet vibrators, eggs, etc.).
Of course, keep in mind that the sizes of each and every toy you choose need to correspond to what we call the butt’s “work experience.”
In other words, if you’re a newbie in the world of anal play, pick the smallest anal sex toys you can find and work your way up. If you’re a veteran, and your butt has been sniffed around the block a few times, then you know if a toy is too big for you or not. Big butt plugs are for those who have plenty of experience and their anus have adjusted with such size.
Stimuli Aren’t Only Physical
Do you know what will get you all relaxed, pliant, and hot and bothered? Porn. Yes, we know we said that porn that features anal sex is misleading and that you generally shouldn’t consider it a good sex tip avenue. And all those points still stand.
However, that doesn’t mean that porn isn’t hot. Watching someone take it doggie style will surely inspire you to do the same, right? Not to mention that it will turn you on, and even though we already mentioned that the butt doesn’t benefit from that in terms of lubrication, being turned on is still a huge help. You’ll be more relaxed and more open (pun intended) for new experiences.
So watch that porn star sink onto a cock reverse cowgirl style and get ready for your own round of anal play!
Anal play only feels good when you take the time to do it properly. It’s not a race to see who can finish first. While engaging in anal play, try to stimulate the entire body and as many erogenous zones as you can. Focusing on one body part can be quite intense (just think about blowjobs), but it can also over (or under) stimulate it.
So brush or pinch the nipples while rimming your partner, or draw circles all over their body with your tongue. Mixing anal play and oral sex is always an excellent idea, and we’re sure your partner wouldn’t mind if you brought them to orgasm more than once, right? So have at it — touch everything!
One for the Road — Take It Slow
The essential thing about anal play is that it has to happen slowly. Taking our time prevents injuries and guarantees orgasms. Furthermore, newbies and those who have dabbled in anal play once or twice also need to remember that not communicating their feelings might cost them dearly.
So here’s a parting piece of advice. If you feel like something is wrong, uncomfortable, or painful, don’t hold your tongue. Speak up and communicate your discomfort to your partner. Depending on your feelings, they can slow down or completely stop. Anal play is all about that journey, after all, so you better be able to enjoy it.